The Modern Witch

 So fake,
yeah I can see behind that smile.
Glazed onto your face
like sweet frosting on a poisonous cake.
Don’t give me that preshrunk “kindness”
generic words that can hardly be called “courtesy”
lip service,
even criminals are paid it
when they’re sent to the chair.
words full of so many lies,
am I just your carrion?
since your compliments are flies
just sitting there waiting
till i eventually die
go ahead
slowly kill me inside.
with your sardonic sense of humor,
sharp as a knife.
don’t think the vampire’s gonna kiss you,
cuz he’s really gonna bite.
if an ego could bleed,
you would bleed mine to death.
with your consistent persistent
stabs at my neck.
What,
am I the perfect victim for your lies,
since I’m so shamelessly incredibly unfortunately shy
is it cuz they only see your pretty little face?
smiling so sweetly
so out of place

oh please. stop telling me it was a mistake, 

Making me cry so hard that I start to shake. 

I might be your first, 

but I'm gonna make me your last. 

your words'll be history.

The die is cast.

Don't worry if you're the one left behind in the dust, get up and brush yourself off

Life skill number 1: Just because you're not at the top right now, doesn't mean you don't have the potential. It takes a long time to actually deal with this fact, but you need to. If everything was easy, where would the challenge be and how would a real hardworking effort be anything different than just innate intelligence and effortless perfection? Sometimes things are easier for other people and just seem really hard to get for me.. Is that a problem? Yes. But can that change? Yes, it can. But I need to be the one who believes it CAN change, not just accept whatever comes and move on. I actually feel thankful to the people at the top, because that's what makes me work hard, a goal that needs to be met. If I was at the top what motivation would I have to go higher? So pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and keep going!

Peals of Laughter, Fits of Whining, and the Glories of Summer

Well, you asked me “how’s my summer”, didn’t you? I guess you can just call that the basic overview within which all other categories end up going. Now here’s the long answer: 

Pretty good. 

Good (is the fun) and pretty (everything else, the annoying, exasperating, just plain frustrating parts of my summer). 

The ‘pretty’ was stuff like too many hw deadlines (in summer mind you..), loud or whining children, and sleep (or lack thereof). 

There is lots of good though, I won’t deny it. Winning first place in arts for calligraphy at the county fair, relaxing (when I can get it), reading so so much Poirot, rehearsing for The Good Doctor, cooking, scrapbooking marathon! But I guess that’s how everything goes. A little good and a little.. not so good. The really glorious triumphs I have had this summer are quite high, actually. I have finally gotten my sister to open up to some other genre of book other than gushy mushy romance and she started stockpiling her reading time with good old Agatha Christie. If I survive this Urdu course I will definitely consider it a triumph. And finally, I have not abandoned posting on here even though I’ve been busy, which is perhaps the greatest triumph of them all. Final thoughts? Well, keep this in mind. Take any frustration or hard time as a lack of the good time or rather the fact that you forgot to make the best of it. It honestly works, you’ll start seeing and even having much more good :)

ps. my awesome friend Hannah started a blog for all y’all geeks out there. Make sure you check it out:

http://geeklyspeaking.blogspot.com/

In Between.

Hi again, it's the weekend right after Startalk and right before Kean. Second fast of Ramadan, hungry and can't wait to have whatever is in the oven right now.... Woke up around four this morning and had only a few minutes to eat so I grabbed a protein bar and two bites of cottage cheese. But it's amazing, it lasting pretty well considering ;)  We've been watching Roots to pass the time, it's pretty sad.. Well, it's already 8:04 so about a half hour until I get to break my fast. yay. See you later

Best salad recipe EVER

This salad recipe I made up in spring is just SO good... At one point I was even having it for lunch and dinner with nothing else. But it really needs nothing else! It covers all the food groups and I must say its quite a good recipe considering all the vitamins it has. You can adjust how much of everything you prefer but here's the recipe. I call it Everything Salad, since it's really got everything.

 Everything Salad
 - lettuce 
- cucumber
-tomato
- avocado
- bell pepper (opt)
- feta (opt)
- cilantro/herbs (opt) 

Dressing
- LOTS of lemon juice (this is what makes it good)
- salt & pepper 
- sumac (reddish specks, a spice that tastes like lemon, used in Turkish cuisine)

Chop everything really small (as small as possible without cutting your fingers. They really won't taste good.)
Toss with the dressing. 

Enjoy!  

Dallas, Texas: day 1

I'm here in Dallas now. Took a while and two plane rides with a transfer in Houston, but I'm here. It's actually warmer in NJ than here right now, I'm pretty sure after looking at a weather report.. It's supposed to be like 98 degrees up there or something O.o The best thing about Dallas is that the trees keep their leaves and flower all year round.. It's amazing. No snow, nothing. Plus no humidity! I really hate humidity. lol but it's not like I have no work while I'm here. Gotta keep up with math and Urdu too so I don't forget anything. But it's minimal anyway. Do you know they grow fresh peaches, figs, and plums? The fruit is sooo good.. Strawberries.. (just thinking about them makes me hungry) Well, I have to go now. Catch up later. Bye

Look, a glimpse of sunlight.. And I really did reach the end of the dark tunnel!

Wow. Deep breaths. It's done. Over. Woohoo!! I don't know about you but I am so ready for my summer... AP done. Latin final over. Climate change project done. E3 done. And the crazy hecticness of mini mock also over! The only stress that bugs me now is whether i can squeeze a spot into an MCC chem course... I hope something opens before the fall semester! I already got a lab but just waiting on the other lecture part. I really get to put my feet up and relax now.. nr. I still have basic hw and PSAT prep for October..  But retrospectively, things are pretty good. By that I mean not very extremely busy as usual lol. Then my life gets filled up with other randomness like how I really want to jump on a trampoline.. O.o So I guess I'll continue Nightmares and watercolor and re read my entire bookshelf ;) All my favorite stuff. And leaving to TX soon. yayyy ^_^

Well. cya later. i gtg enjoy myself.

The experience of overdrive

That's right, I turned it up four or five notches this last week so I can get a few important things done fully and to the best of my ability. That feeling of rush, urgency sorta, not procrastination-urgency, but the last stretch of road where you give it your all, that's what this week is. Practice exams basically every day, rehearsals basically every day, plus the normal schedule basically every day. I know it doesn't make sense but when you're caught up in this huge flurry of everything it can give you this weirdly awesome feeling, hyper sorta. Julius Caesar opens this Friday night, my AP exam is on Thursday morning (7:30 bright n' early), not to mention we have techs both Wednesday and Thursday evenings.. Urdu practice too, gotta use it or you'll lose it. And in the midst of all this our Climate Change project, which will go into full overdrive next week when we're scrambling for a video. Haven't been keeping up with e3 lately, but I guess that's just because I'm keeping up with the other stuff. Can't wait till it all relaxes and I can live like a normal person next week... lol.
By the way, there was actually one thing I was meaning to post since it is so true and I think anyone reading this would benefit. Here are the very very important list of things to take advantage of before you don't have them anymore: 
- your health before you get sick
- your spare time before you get busy
- your youth before you get old
- your life before you die

I really believe that a person should leave the world a better place than they found it, so after you go if people ask, "Did anything good happen on this earth as a result of s/he?" they can answer yes.

The Storm Came...

Rainy day... Rainy, rainy day. Rainy rehearsal. Rainy e3. Rainy AP studying. Rainy everything... The storm has begun at long last (I can't say I was waiting for it..), never to end until the fateful day of the 17th of March... Waking up at 5 am to take an exam has to be every teenager's dream, right? But you know how the storm is always at its worst at the beginning at at the end? That's how it is here. Stressing a LOT a few days ago when I thought I bombed my first DBQ essay (need to work up to that insane time limit!), then finally I got used to crashing hectic-ness of it all, and the loud, angry gales and torrents of rain beating down on my window just became background noise ;) But it ain't over, no it really ain't... You'll see I'll be back to my old stressing self in a week or so when I start wigging out again (I can so wait.). But there's always a good side to rain, it can be a comfort if you're forced to stay inside and do something cozy. I personally pick up a Hana Kimi or Sherlock Holmes or Agatha Christie, whatever mood I'm in. Or I could get my poem book and write a new haiku about rain. Or I could listen to music. Or I could sleep. See this is just me rambling now about all the stuff I wish I could do if only I had the time! It always comes up every single time I post... (But it's not against the law to dream, is it?) My bunny obviously likes the rain, it reminds her of her favorite activity that she loves and does almost all day: s l e e p. For hours upon hours all day long. Some life. 

Urdu prep ect

مجھے اردو بہت پسند ہے
That means: I enjoy Urdu very much. (thanks to google transliterate)
مے پڑھنا اور اردو لکھنا بہت کر رہی ہو
That means: I am doing a lot of writing and reading in Urdu.

My assignments are mostly writing on paper, reading, and typing in Urdu using google transliterate. At first I totally could not read any Urdu, let alone make my own sentences.. But it got better. I worked on it, now I'm assigned to watch a drama in Urdu for class hw! It's really similar to Arabic but it's pretty different too. I'm hoping to do a summer program at Kean University for Urdu, where you take a test in the end and can even get college credit for Urdu! It's pretty cool. And the added plus I can talk to all those Pakistani aunties who go "Aray beyytaa! Ajawww!" then grab you and give you a bone-crushing hug... lol

Current Events (not the literal meaning, but whatever, you know what I mean)

It's sad looking at my bunny who is forlorn in the corner of her cage, missing a main part of her daily routine (old fleece hoodie/her favorite cuddling spot) and jumping up anxiously every few minutes to see if someone brought it back for her. (It's in the wash now, and it's actually all her own fault since she had an accident all over it..) Spoiled bunny. That's what I say. But it's still a little sad..
Main routine (mine): Wake up -> Work+HISTORY..->Eat->Some more HISTORY..read a little->Sleep (repeat)
That's basically the outline for every day I have no where to go, but luckily that's good for me since I get much more done. Oh yeah and Urdu reading/writing practice for a summer program at Kean Univ. that I'm hoping to get into. 11th grade is just going to be a littttle more hectic than now right? Here are a list of thing I would have liked to do in more spare time:
- calligraphy
- draw/watercolor
- continue Nightmares (finish it!)
- leisure read (finish all the classics on my nook)
- pancakes
- finish Sherlock!!!! (and all the other awesome BBC series that are yet unfinished)

Hopefully that list will increase as I can think of more stuff. (Want to learn to drive next year hopefully ;) Next month I have Climate Change stuff starting all over again big projects like it always is, National Latin Exam, plus other things I can't think of right now. Catch you later!

New Year's Resolution

2012, the most important resolutions of all, since the world's ending... ?!

Anyhooooo..

1. Finish at least ONE other story I've started

2. Win mt regionals (at least)

3. Learn at least TWO new languages this summer

4. Spend more time frolicking outside :)

5. To post on here more often.. bleh

6. Procrastinate less.

7. Run a 5k in at most 30min

8. Make people laugh

9. Get two of my enemy-friends to become friends

10. Stress less